Dans les coulisses d’un projet d’écriture
Pourquoi écrire son autobiographie ou ses mémoires ? Comment procéder ? Qu’est-ce qui se vit quand on écrit sa propre histoire ? Quels en sont les fruits ?
Pour mieux comprendre l’expérience autobiographique, nous avons posé quelques questions à Évelyne Durin qui vient de publier son autobiographie La lumière juste de Septembre aux éditions Maïa.
– Pourquoi avez-vous écrit votre autobiographique ?
Évelyne Durin – Mon histoire est difficile. Je l’ai souvent racontée à des amis et des personnes de confiance. Et puis, un jour, ma voisine m’a dit : « Tu devrais écrire un livre. » Cela m’a donné le courage et l’impulsion de départ.
– Pour écrire vos mémoires, comment avez-vous procédé ?
– Par ordre chronologique, tout simplement. J’ai mis environ un an à écrire mon autobiographie. J’ai d’abord écrit un premier cahier avec beaucoup de corrections et de ratures. Puis, j’ai tout remis au propre, fait des chapitres et peaufiné l’ensemble dans un deuxième cahier.
Je l’ai ensuite confié à une personne de mon entourage qui l’a tapé à l’ordinateur. Et enfin, je l’ai imprimé et donné à mes proches qui l’ont lu et bien reçu. Quelques années plus tard – c’est-à-dire tout récemment – je l’ai proposé à une maison d’édition qui a accepté de le publier.
– Pourquoi publier dans une maison d’édition ? Vous auriez pu vous contenter d’un partage “familial” ?
– L’écriture a été essentielle dans ma vie. À l’école, j’aimais écrire et j’étais douée. Et puis j’ai souvent écrit dans les périodes difficiles. Cela m’aidait. Pendant très longtemps, j’ai eu cette certitude d’avoir peu de valeur… Je me sentais très différente des autres du fait de mon histoire et j’avais peu de reconnaissance.
La publication de mon livre auprès du grand public est comme l’aboutissement d’un long chemin de réhabilitation. C’est une manière à la fois de montrer ce dont je suis capable et aussi d’apparaître en pleine lumière avec tout ce que je suis.
– Pouvez-vous nous dire quelques mots sur votre histoire ?
– Mes parents ont vécu la déportation. Ma mère était polonaise. Elle a élevé seule ses quatre enfants et elle est morte d’un cancer à 38 ans. Je me suis donc retrouvée orpheline à l’âge de 9 ans, placée dans une famille d’accueil et séparée de mes frères et sœurs
J’ai eu beaucoup de mal à me construire affectivement et j’ai dû m’accrocher à la vie pendant longtemps. Heureusement, j’ai un mari qui m’a beaucoup aidé et des enfants qui s’en sortent bien.
– Qu’avez-vous écrit dans votre livre ?
– J’ai mis l’essentiel. J’ai mis toute la dignité qu’il fallait garder dans la narration de cette histoire. J’ai mis beaucoup de temps à choisir mes mots pour ne heurter personne.
Il faut faire attention à ce que l’on dit sur les personnes. Pour écrire son autobiographie, il faut être discret, pudique et en même temps, dire la vérité. C’est un travail en profondeur. Il faut se poser. On ne peut pas écrire d’un trait.
– Qu’avez-vous ressenti après avoir écrit la dernière ligne de vos mémoires ?
– Un soulagement parce que c’était fini ! Et un vide car ce travail me remplissait. Heureusement, j’ai été très vite préoccupée par les questions techniques. La vie a repris son cours “normal” et j’ai eu le bonheur de partager mon livre.
C’est un peu comme un enfant qu’on met au monde. On est heureux de découvrir son visage, le bercer dans ses bras, et en même temps un peu triste de ne plus l’avoir dans son ventre. Après, on partage aussi la joie d’avoir un enfant avec les autres. Et finalement, on est heureux et curieux de le voir grandir.
Aujourd’hui, c’est pareil. Depuis la publication du livre, j’attends de voir comment il va faire son chemin.
– Le fait d’écrire vos mémoires a-t-il changé le cours de votre histoire ?
– Oui et non. Cela m’a permis de tourner une page douloureuse. Je ne suis pas guérie et il m’arrive encore parfois de ressentir les blessures du passé. Mais je me sens libérée et plus disponible intérieurement. J’arrive à vivre plus paisiblement ce que j’ai à vivre au jour le jour.
Le fait d’écrire mon histoire l’a valorisée. Même si elle est souvent difficile et triste, j’en ai fait une belle histoire. Comme un bijou précieux dans un écrin. Et aujourd’hui, au lieu de raconter ma vie, je suis heureuse de pouvoir offrir mon livre.
– Quels conseils donneriez-vous à ceux qui hésitent à écrire leurs mémoires ?
– N’ayez pas peur. Restez simple. Écrivez ce que vous ressentez. Personne ne vous jugera. Au contraire, ceux qui liront votre livre seront heureux de découvrir votre histoire. C’est le plus beau des partages.
Recueilli par Sylvain Sismondi
Lire le livre d’Évelyne – La lumière juste de septembre, Évelyne Durin, éditions Maïa, 90 pages, 17 €.
Cet article vous a intéressé ? Ayez la gentillesse de laisser un commentaire (et de partager cet article autour de vous).
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Merci pour votre message. Ce deuxième manuscrit que vous évoquez semble empreint d’une intensité toute particulière. J’imagine combien l’écriture a pu être, une fois encore, un appui précieux pour traverser la douleur, pour dire l’indicible, et tenter de mettre des mots sur les troubles profonds que le deuil peut provoquer.
Exprimer cette traversée intérieure, nommer les bouleversements psychiques et oser raconter le chemin de résilience, c’est un acte à la fois courageux, authentique et profondément humain. Même non publié, ce texte a déjà une existence. Il vous accompagne, et je suis convaincu qu’il trouvera, le moment venu, sa juste forme et sa place.
Sylvain
Après de nouveaux deuils,et surtout celui de mon frère, j’ ai eu besoin d’ exprimer et de décrire les troubles psychiques qu » ils ont provoqués chez moi et le long chemin emprunté à nouveau dans l’ espoir d’ une résilience, dans un deuxième manuscrit,, non publié pour l’ instant.
Merci pour ce retour. L’écriture est un outil formidable de rencontre avec soi. Essayez et vous verrez. C’est formidable. Bonne écriture !
Oui cet article m’a intéressée . Il m’a permis de comprendre qu’après l’écriture je serai sans doute libérée d’un poids et rassérénée avec mon histoire.
il m’a donné le précieux conseil de se tenir aux faits concernant les souvenirs douloureux et qui touchent à des personnes dont on a pu souffrir.
Merci , tout cela a été précieux car je vais me lancer dans ce projet d’écriture qui me tiens à coeur depuis longtemps .
Oui cet article m’a intéressée . Il m’a permis de comprendre qu’après l’écriture je serai sans doute libérée d’un poids et rassérénée avec mon histoire.
il m’a donné le précieux conseil de se tenir aux faits concernant les souvenirs douloureux et qui touchent à des personnes dont on a pu souffrir.
Merci , tout cela a été précieux car je vais me lancer dans ce projet d’écriture qui me tiens à coeur depuis longtemps .
Marie-Pierre